Dirt

By: crimson.bead

I want to soak in an acid bath

Burn their fingerprints off my skin

Burn them from my memory

Rubbing their scent on me

They made me their property.


My skin is gone

but I am still dirty


I am still unworthy


I want to reach in with my hand

Pull my uterus out

Disinfect it

Incinerate it so it cannot be used

So I cannot do the same to mine

Fill the cavity with candles and flowers

Fill it with things of beauty


I redecorate my insides

but I am still dirty


I am still unworthy


I want to slice off my breasts

So I don't look like my mother

So I don't stand out

Nothing to see

Nothing to touch

Nothing to remind me

My milk is rancid


My breasts are gone

but I am still dirty


I am still unworthy


I want to pull my eyes out

So I can be blind and ignore my hurt

So I don't have to look at the creeps in this world

So I don't see them stare

as they hunt me down like prey

So I don't feel like I am a circus freak

So I can be me...be free


My eyes are gone

but I am still dirty


I am still unworthy


It seems it doesn't matter what I do

No part has remained untouched

I am branded

The scent of too many extrudes from my pores

And she...

She will always be in each cell

She will always be here

Always be me


I am gone

but somehow still dirty


Always unworthy.

DIRTDARK
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