Painful Realizations

By: Stranger1984

I look to the midnight sky,

I see the bright, white stars.

I almost want to cry,

As I remember all the scars.

Sometimes I'd like to scream,

Because I'm afraid that I'm a fake.

Sometimes I wish life was a dream,

From which I'll soon awake.

At times I want to pray,

Because I'm feeling sad.

Then I tell myself,

They day ain't all that bad.

I'm seventeen,

With a heart of stone,

And I wonder if I'll be this mean,

When I've grown.

I say, "at least I'm honest."

To mask being cruel,

But then I get pissed,

'cause I realize that's not cool.

Every morning I contemplate suicide,

To escape all this shit.

Then I say I don't wanna die,

Because I might really be missed.

I still don't know why I'm here,

I was told it was to be a friend.

It almost makes me tear,

Because I probably won't know 'til the end.

PAINFULR
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